"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

It's all up to the Man upstairs...

Good News! As presumed, I am ovulating on my left side this time around. Yay!! There is only one dominant follicle measuring just over 18mm. Although, I would have liked to have seen more than one, one is really all you need. My E2 level was still a little on the low side so they have suggested we wait until Thursday evening for the trigger shot and Saturday for the insemination, in hopes that my estrogen will continue to increase over the next 4 days.

I am really trying to do my best to give this one to God 100%. No worries, no anxiety, whatever happens happens according to the plan He had already set for me long before I was even a glimmer in my Mama's eye. Whatever will be, will be.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day, is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Writer's Block... Ugh!

Hello again... It is probably a good thing that I don't rely on my writing as a source of income. My lack of posting in the past couple weeks is a direct reflection of my lack of intriguing topics in which to discuss, which would, if this blog were my source of income, result in 6 very hungry bellies. Not good.

For the most part, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to discuss both, the peaks and the pits of my life and typically have no problem just coming out and saying what's on my mind. There are a few exceptions. 1. When in a disagreement with my darling husband. I tend to crawl into my shell a little. Or I just need time with my own thoughts, he often doesn't understand this part. 2. When the "pit" I'm in has me feeling like I just need some me time, I also tend to crawl in my shell. And, 3. When I don't have anything nice to say. (don't say anything at all, right?) Apparently, I'm adding a forth: lack of writing inspiration.

Every time I have picked up the computer the past few weeks I have felt pangs of guilt, for not posting, and a little avoidance when it comes to my blog. Kind of like that daunting task that you try to pretend doesn't exist, in hopes that it will just miraculously check itself off the list. Perhaps these feelings are due to the lack of action on the baby making front. Possible partial blame could be placed on Cozart's change in schedule which has caused us both lack of sleep. (I don't sleep well when he's not home) Or maybe my own work stress, which has consumed most of my thoughts over the last couple weeks. Whatever the reason, I hope this is the end of my writer's block.

Aside from the writer's block, Cozart's new position at the hospital and our disrupted sleep pattern and my work drama; I have rather enjoyed our month off from all things baby. Of course, it's never completely turned off in my mind. Everywhere I turn, someone is pregnant, having a baby or asking me about my kids (thinking I have something other than that of the four-legged, furry variety). I think this was the first month in almost 3 years that I can say I had absolutely no expectation of seeing a positive pregnancy test. It has been a welcome break and I am ready to, hopefully, try again this month.

My cycle day 10 ultrasound and blood work appointment was yesterday morning. I arrived at Dr. D's office at 8:15am with absolutely no pre-conceived thoughts. The last 2 appointments just like this one, I was either nervous and apprehensive or feeling like this just isn't our month. This time I was relaxed and, as hard as a tried, I couldn't get a feel for what my gut was trying to tell me. I am chalking this up as a good thing and hope it continues. The ultrasound showed that, although it appears I will be ovulating on my left side this month, there was only one dominant follicle and it was far from ready, measuring only 11.92mm. (they like to see between 18-20mm before they will have you administer the trigger shot) They called later in the day, which I didn't realize until this afternoon because they called my work phone, to tell me my E2 level (estrogen) was at 90. (also too low for triggering) So, I have a 2nd ultrasound and blood draw scheduled for Tuesday morning. Typically, the follicles grow between 2-3mm per 24 hours which should put me right at 18-20mm at the time of that appointment. If all looks good, I will trigger Tuesday evening, come back Thursday morning for Cozart's deposit and later in the day for insemination.

Until Tuesday...

 "Forget all the reasons why it won't work and BELIEVE the one reason it will." - Unknown

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Happy Sunday!!!

Hello again... I know it's been quite a few days since I have posted anything. After the roller coaster ride that was the month of July, I just haven't had much to say.

I had a nice trip home to Minnesota, although not for reasons I would like to be making said trip; it's still always nice to go home. The celebration of my Grandfather's life was wonderful. I saw so many people I hadn't seen in years. I think I heard "I haven't seen you since you were this big..." more in 2 days than I have my entire life. The service was followed by a luncheon and then we laid him to rest at the cemetery right in between my Grandmother and my Dad. I know I said it before but I am just so overcome with joy and peace knowing they are together once again. We wrapped up the service with each grandchild releasing a balloon into the sky. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.

I had my cycle day 10 ultrasound scheduled for this past Tuesday. And just as I had suspected, I am ovulating on the right side so we will wait this month out. I would be lying if I said I wasn't even just a little bit disappointed. Although, I am a little relieved to have a month to not have to have every waking (and some sleeping) thought consumed by baby making. I suppose it is still possible that we could get pregnant this month on our own, so I'm sure I'll have a thought of hope run through my mind a few times in the next 2 weeks. The chances are so slim, I won't be holding my breath.

I anticipate Flo's arrival sometime the last week of August, at which time I will again call to schedule the 10 day ultrasound and blood work and we start the process all over again. It appears that my body is pretty text book as far as my cycles. (ie every 28 days, alternating ovaries, etc.) However, it is not uncommon for a woman to have 1 or 2 annovulatory cycles a year. An annovulatory cycle is when you just don't ovulate. With that being said, I am hopeful next month cycle will be on the left but it is also possible it will repeat the right or I may not ovulate at all. Until then, fingers crossed and more waiting...

In other news, Cozart started his job at the hospital this past week. Much as I had suspected, it is going to be quite an adjustment. Not only for him, but for me as well. For at least the first month, he will primarily be working nights (7pm-7am), as well as working a couple days for the ambulance company. Although, we have both come accustom to him working 24 hour shifts with 48 hours off in between, this work all night, sleep during the day thing is for the birds. But something we both will need to get used to. Between both companies, he's been gone pretty much all weekend and next weekend will be much of the same. It's nice to have the house to yourself for the first day, the 2nd day is when it starts to get to me. On the bright side, I can spend a lot more time at yoga, without having to listen to his grumblings about me being gone. :)

Happy Sunday!!!