"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

July 17th, 2012

When I woke up yesterday morning I had an uneasy feeling, the best way I can describe it is... empty. But with all that has transpired over the last 10 days, it didn't really come as a surprise that I would be feeling down or a little "off". I left the house and made my trek to the booming metropolis of Leesburg, FL to prepare for my luncheon with one of my doctor's offices. Throughout the luncheon I couldn't shake this dark feeling. By the time I had packed up my stuff and got back on the road, I found myself unable to hold back the tears. I sat in my car and did what I always do while having an impromptu emotional break down, I begged God for some relief. I tried to explain to him that I didn't think I was as strong as he thinks I am and that I just didn't know how much more I could take. It the midst of my sobs, Cozart called to check in while on his lunch break. I pulled myself together and proceeded to tell him my stuffiness was due to something in the air. I just didn't want to hear what I already knew in my heart, which was I AM strong enough and God knows me a heck of a lot better than I know myself. He would never give me more than I could handle. Which is exactly what Cozart told me last night when I confessed my little lie. Cozart and I finished our conversation and I continued on my route with intention of seeing at least 3 or 4 more offices.

1977 - Me with my 2 Guardian Angels - Grandpa and My Dad

No sooner did I pull in the parking lot of my next stop did I get the answer as to what this horrible feeling was. My phone rang again and this time it was my Uncle. I knew why he was calling and hesitated before hitting the glowing green ANSWER button on my phone. "Gen!" (it's mind blowing how much he sounded like my Grandfather in that moment.) "Hey!" I said, and for a split second I thought he was just calling to check in. (not that that is a regular occurrence). Unfortunately, he was in fact delivering the news I had been dreading for the past week. "Grandpa passed away about 25 minutes ago." , he said. Neither of us could say anything but a few muffled I love you's and see you soon. I made a few phone calls to Cozart, my Mom and my Sister and decided I wouldn't be seeing anymore doctors for the day. I started on my hour long journey home. (note to self: never tell God what you can handle, chances are he does know better than you and will likely prove you wrong)

1980 - Me & Grandpa

After about 15 minutes of driving, squinting my way through the tears, I felt overcome by peace. The same peace I felt when I got the call saying he only had 2 more weeks to live. He probably has dreamt of the day he could see his wife and 3 sons since the day they died and here it is. Reunited with not only the 4 of them but his brothers and sisters and his parents and all the other loved ones that have gone before him. What an amazing day for him! As a smile finally, probably for the first time all day, came to my face I realized how dark the sky was getting. And the thunder was so loud with one crash after another. One of 3 things was happening and none of them had to do with weather. Either I could still hear my Grandfather grumbling from heaven, (this wouldn't be surprising, he liked to grumble about things just for the reaction),  or, there was a stampede of loved ones rushing to greet him into heaven or he was just making his grand entrance. Probably a combination of the 3.

Richard Eugene Dahl
January 9th, 1935 - July 17th, 2012

My Grandfather was a wonderful man and the memories I have of him I will cherish forever. In going through pictures of him in preparation for his wake and funeral, I just couldn't help but notice that every picture I have of him and me, I look happier than I've ever been. He kind of had that effect on me. I look forward to the day I see him again and hopefully make my own thunder crashing entrance...

None of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living  - Romans 14:7-9

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry Genny. This is a lovely post. You do look really happy in all of the pictures.

    I have this going through my head: "My grandpa built that house". Does this ring a bell for you or am I making up memories from grade school??